COPING WITH GRIEF
No one is excluded from going through a period of grief. Grief is an emotional response to a personal loss, either of love ones or things. Someone who is dear to us, who passed away will definitely leave some kind of sorrow or sadness in us. How we cope, depend on ourselves actually. Of course there are books written by some authors which can help us go through such painful experience. But we Christian can be assured that we will not go through without God. Why many of us found it hard to cope or go through it is due to a lack of preparation on our part for something that will sure to happen.
Our basic preparation is to have a knowledge of what we will go through in life. To know that our love one such as our parents or spouse will depart one day should make us use our moments together wisely. Grief prolongs because we are being caught unprepared. We had depended too much on our love ones so much that when they depart, we cannot manage on our own. Some cannot get it over because they have so many regrets. They replayed in their minds of what they should have done while their love ones were around. That is why, we should make full use of the time while we are together so that there is no regrets to haunt us. Companionship or friendship is severed because of death. That is what some people fear most. To fill the void is part of the preparation.
To know and accept the fact that our love one will go to a better place will undoubtedly ease our pain. Infact this will help us to change for the better because to be able to meet our love ones again
we need to go to heaven. We have to let go our love ones because there is no way they can come back to us.
God is the God of all comfort. He knows everything and knows our sadness and our difficulties. To put our trust in God is what will heal us in the inside. God can communicate directly to us if we acknowledge Him in our life. One thing that God put in us is love. That love will make us understand God more and how He operates in our life. Once that understanding grows in us, we will love God even more and our difficult moments is shouldered by Him.
Helping others in the moments of their loss is a good preparation for us if our turn comes. To avoid such moments will only make us unprepared. We will learn a lot of things through observation or helping through even the funeral. Once we know what to expect, we can make some preparation too.
It is important for us not to isolate ourselves from others. Joining ministry or church activities can fill the void in us and can prevent our memories from depressing ourselves. I see a lot of improvement when I get more involved in ministry. We can be an encouragement to others.
The Bible especially the Book of proverbs will remind us that “Beatings and blows” can purify us in the inside. This great pain or agony of loss will squeeze out the evil in us. It forces us on our knees to an all powerful God. It forces us to stop and ponder the next stage of our life. So if we look at these things in a positive note- especially of tragedy, we can come out strong. However, many people refuse to accept what had happened to them. They felt that they do not deserve it. But who are we to question God. To accept and acknowledge that we are wretched in front of God will help us to recover from our sorrows.
If we had made use of the opportunity that God gave to us to be with our children, our spouse and parents, loving them and giving them what we can afford, we can minimise the regrets if anyone of them depart from us. Going for short trips or holidays, meals at home or outside together etc brings family together. Having enough savings so that we can help family members will also help. Spending money for our love ones will be of great help. However some people spend their money on strong drinks or cigarettes leaving the children without much attention. Some people spend most of their times with other people than with their love ones. They lavish others with gifts but not their love ones.
Letting everything done by one person will make us too dependent and if the person depart, we will be having a hard moment. For example driving. Both husband and wife should be able to drive and take turn to drive. If one is sick, the other can drive to send to the hospital. Housewife should learn to earn something just incase the husband passes away.
Saving for difficult times is very important. Sure we will be in need in certain times of our life. Money for our children immediate and future needs are very important. Knowing that we will be sickly when we are old should make us save. Other wise, if something happens and we have no money, we will be full of regrets. That is why, to save, get rid of some bad habits like drinking strong drinks etc.
People make the wrong decisions in life if they face stressful moments or difficulties. We do not want our children or love ones go through difficult times when we ourselves die. Some people take insurance while others save. Having enough saving for the family incase we die will help save our own family from difficulties.
Love and Peace
The way of love is what Paul says, the most excellent way. To serve, to help and be generous are what love is all about. It is not mere talk and these do not need much money to carry out. If we spend our lonely days doing these, we find many friends a long the way. Buying someone a bit of vegetables, paying for a cup of coffee, joining help ministry are helpful activities that will enrich of lives. These enable us to be useful during difficult times.